The Fat Cat Diaries

Are you standing on the ceiling?

Oliver — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 02:27:12 +0000

I look good any angle

Lets be realistic human. I’m not going to like you any better if I’m upside down or sitting straight up. You look the same to me either way. And don’t forget, I can still bite no matter how I lay. I’m very cirque-de-soleil-ish.

COMON Human…give it a REST!

Oliver — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 02:24:15 +0000

What....do....you....want.

Sooooo…you think I wanted to take a photo? Um, no.

Cat Pillow or Oliver….you decide

Oliver — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 02:38:24 +0000

Only $14.99 for awesome

Human found a pillow I think was designed and molded after me. I should get royalties for being this awesome.

Leather makes me happy

Oliver — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 02:22:44 +0000

Owned,

Human spent $350 on this ottoman. I figured that just means she wanted me to have a nice place to wear out and leave fur behind on. And when I run fast enough and jump on this, I can latch my back claws right into it! So warm too.

I deem you owned there Blackberry

Oliver — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 02:30:20 +0000

What's that vibration?

I deem this cell phone…..owned. If someone calls human, it gives me a mini arm massage for 5 second vibrating intervals.

I am the only floor kitteh

Oliver — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 05:45:25 +0000

I feel the static.....clinging.

Human sold all the furniture, now all this weird stuff is on my level. How am I to sprawl out with all this junk at eye level make weird sounds. I wonder if I ate that cable box what it would taste like….I’m hungry.

I should join Cirque De Soleil

Oliver — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 02:44:44 +0000

I’m blending

Oliver — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 02:37:10 +0000

Don't.......move

If I sit here, perhaps I’ll blend in. Then again I’m colorblind, so not sure what I’m against again for camo. And pose. (dont breath, dont breath…can human see me?)

I like electronics

Oliver — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 02:37:42 +0000

Zap, zap

I keep getting this warm feeling underneath me. It could be this black electronic thing I’m sitting on, or I just wet myself. Either way, my underside is toasty.

I could clean up,but that’s not my job

Oliver — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:24:51 +0000

I should clean this......naw.

I don’t think I should ever have to clean anything. I’ll just eat and make a mess, because either my chubby brother will eat it, or my human will suck it up with that loud thing shaped like a cone. Yeah, I’m definitely not cleaning this up. Can’t break a nail for food.